Eeeek… I am… writing something… How did this happen? Apparently I am going to attempt to become a blogger. Life doesn’t always work out the way we would expect and we are taken on unexpected journeys. I’m not exactly sure how I thought my life would be, I just know it’s different. I am a firm believer in the age old saying that ‘everything happens for a reason’. So here I am.. new beginnings newbie blogger. Here goes nothing..
Why am I writing a blog? Well, here goes…
If you would have told me a year ago that I would be sat at my computer attempting to write my first blog post I wouldn’t have believed you. I have always thought of myself as a creative person – whether this is singing (badly), dancing (with a complete lack of rhythm), or arts and crafts (with absolutely no artistic flair), but writing… Writing is something that I have always been interested in but never really attempted. I mean, I have written essay after essay as a student but that was many years ago. With this is mind, I apologise in advance if my ramblings make no sense what-so-ever, and are full of spelling and grammatical errors.
If you would have told me five years ago that I would be attempting to write a blog about being a mummy, I most definitely would not have believed you. This is because I have Polycystic Ovaries and Endometriosis and was told, rather bluntly by my gynaecologist, that I would never have a baby. My daughter is now two years old and living proof that the doctors aren’t always right, and that miracles do actually happen, and to ordinary folk like me.
The last two years have been the best (and most stressy!) years of my life. My life is completely different to what it was five years ago. I was a qualified tutor working my way up the career ladder and I really loved my job. However, I was suffering badly from the symptoms of my PCOS and Endometriosis. I was in and out of hospital; treatment after treatment, operation after operation. I would even go as far as saying these conditions were ruining my life. Hence the doctors diagnosis!
After being told I would never have a baby (after trying for years) I well and truly hit rock bottom and I was off work on the sick for months. I couldn’t cope with the idea of not being a mummy. Who the hell was this doctor to tell me that I couldn’t be a mummy? I was angry. Furious. Resentful. But mostly, I was heartbroken. Would my partner still want to be with me knowing he might never be a father? I told him to leave me. I wouldn’t blame him. He didn’t. Why me? Why us? What did I do to deserve this? Why am I being punished?
I felt like I had truly hit rock bottom. But the bottom had fallen out of rock bottom and I had fallen even further down. Then, from nowhere, there was a glimmer of light. Where it came from I don’t know but I knew I had to fight. I owed it to my future child. How could I accept the doctor’s diagnosis? I knew I had to start thinking positively. So I started having reiki, and I started taking a herbal supplement called Agnus Castus to try and help regulate my cycle. I knew if I could stay positive my dream would come true.
Now I don’t know what, why or how but exactly four months and 7 days after being told I would never have children, I took a pregnancy test. And it was positive. I didn’t believe it so took about another eight tests to make sure. They were all positive. I thought I was dreaming. One year and eleven days after being told I wouldn’t have a baby, my little miracle was born.
So here I am, two years later, attempting to start a blog about being a mummy. Who’d have thought it? My blog is mostly going to be dedicated to my life with my beautiful miracle daughter and the adventures we get up to, but I will most probably write about my PCOS and Endometriosis from time to time, as well as other things…
New beginnings newbie blogger – I like the sound of it!
Thank you for reading (sorry if I have bored you with my rambling on) but I really appreciate it.