It might seem like positivity and infertility just don’t go together, but for the sake of your mental health over time – it should be something you are trying to achieve. But it is a bit like sleep, the more you focus on it, the less likely you are to do it. However, instead of focusing on being positive, focus on adding things to your lifestyle that have a positive impact. Those impacts will build up, and you will find that you have a more positive outlook.
However, it is always healthy to feel your feelings. If you need to cry, need to sleep, do it, it is healthy to deal with your emotions.
Walking is massively underrated, and one of the first things people will suggest to you to get out of the house and get some peace of mind and perspective. The fresh air will help you clear the mind of your worries, and the green of the trees will naturally help you unwind too. If you are in the middle of IVF and finding yourself in clinics often, the antidote to all that is nature – so go and get yourself some.
It is a bit wild to think that in this day and age, people still feel alone when going through fertility issues. There is a vast community online filled with stories both positive and negative, and millions in the TTC/TTW forums. Talking is really important. It will help you feel like you are not alone, and the journey you are on can be one of the hardest things you will ever go through. Talking is healthy and necessary.
Even if you are a terrible cook, it is time to start. There are a lot of hours between appointments, injections, clinics, scans, tests, and it can feel like an endless pincushion session for you. So start cooking. Bake cakes for your partner, friends, and family. Learn how to prepare a delicious pie, and steak, or create the vegan gnocchi of dreams. Not only are you nourishing your body, which it will need, but you are doing something productive, learning a skill, and eventually, you will be cooking these meals for your children.
You might choose to keep a journal every day, something that will remind you of the things you are going through and something to read back over when your bundle arrives. Or, you might choose to do something more public and blog about it. Sharing your thoughts and feelings is a really healthy way not to bottle things up. And, those moments where you started to google things at 3am, someone might find your blog post and feel a little less on their own.
Getting clarity and calm can be hard for anyone, let alone someone with so many extra things to do. Using an app every day like the Calm app, or Headspace can help you sleep and get your ten minutes of meditation a day. If you aren’t in the mood to meditate, think about the topics you like to listen to and find some podcasts – and just lay down for ten minutes or more while you listen to them.
Do the things you love, and create a lifestyle that gives you joy while you wait for your new bundle of wonder.