Parenting,  Reviews & Collaborations

3 Rules To Co-Parent Effectively Through Divorce

Divorce is one of those things that impacts millions and millions of families all over the world, and it appears to be on the increase. While you can’t argue with the statistics, the most depressing aspect is the breakup of the family. Perhaps once upon a time, there were many family adventures, but now everything has to be done to a strict schedule, or you incurred the wrath of the other parent. What can you do whether you are are going through the divorce process or have already divorced to make sure that you co-parent effectively and your children don’t feel the impact as much?

Improving Communication With The Co-Parent

One of the biggest hurdles to making sure your children are happy. When we have to go through the endless legal hoops to make sure both sides are happy, communication can be the lowest of our priorities. But in a legal sense, it’s crucial to consult with a family mediation firm to ensure that both sides are happy. You have to remember that co-parenting successfully is all about consistent and common communication. You have to remember that it’s not just about touching base every time you make a decision, but it’s about calming yourself down. Think about your mindset and the fact that it’s not about you or them, but it’s about your child. Before you start to get angry or think about saying something you may regret later, you’ve got to ask yourself how your actions will affect your child and then behave accordingly.

Separating Your Feelings From Your Actions

When we are hurt or angry, we have to remember for the sake of the children that we take a step back and recognise their needs. It’s okay to feel hurt and to be angry, but we have to remember that these emotions shouldn’t dictate our behaviour. When necessary, try to get your feelings out to somewhere else. Venting is healthy, and you can do this to a friend or a counsellor. But you should never let your child know how you are feeling towards your co-parent. It may be beneficial to find an outlet so you can let off steam. It’s so easy for us to vent to our child because they are there, but this passive-aggressive behaviour is going to bounce back on to you at some point.

Establishing Ground Rules As A Co-Parent Team

As difficult as it is to work as a team, you’ve both got to make decisions, even if you don’t like each other. Learning to co-operate for the sake of the child makes everything easier for everyone. Going for consistency and teamwork, everything will fall into place for the sake of your child. It’s essential to set some ground rules and go for consistency in terms of discipline but also remember that the schedule needs to be consistent for the sake of your child. In an ideal world living near each other makes everything easier for the child and yourselves but when this is impossible, consistency for the sake of the child, in terms of their meals, bedtimes, and homework, can make sure that your child adjusts effectively. 

*Collaborative post