Scaredy Cat

Hi. I’m Sam. And I’m a big scaredy cat…

There I said it. It is ants mostly, but any sort of creepy crawlies freak me out; spiders, earwigs, beetles… if it is tiny and it crawls, I’m likely scared of it. Not many people like little bugs so I know its not unusual, but the ant thing is a huge issue for me. I feel sick thinking about them.

I’m also a scaredy cat when it comes to dogs. And (controversially) I don’t really like them either. Or cats. Or the little fluffy rabbits, chicks, guinea pigs and other animals they have at the petting zoo.  I am not sure I like any animals really… I’m weird I know.

I’ll admit some animals are quite cute but thats as far as my love/hate of them goes. I feel obliged to take Molly to places like the zoo or petting farm so she doesn’t develop my irrational fear. These places smell and are muddy. Definitely not a happy mama on days that involve me willingly visiting animals.

I’ve tried to ‘man up’ so to speak since having Molly. I don’t want her to have this unjustified fear of all of the animals. I think I have done quite well actually and I’ve lost count of how many spiders and earwigs I’ve had to catch and take outside while trying to remain calm.

Unfortunately, I don’t think I’ve manned up enough though and I’m pretty sure I’ve passed on the scaredy cat gene to Molly. In fact, I think she might actually be worse than me if that is possible. I feel awful when I see that she is scared of something; is it my fault or would she have been scared any way?

I’ve really made an effort to pretend I’m not scared when there’s a spider in the house or a dog on the street but even though I try to appear calm on the outside, Molly still freaks out so I think she would be scared anyway.

My fear most probably stems from the fact that I didn’t really grow up around animals and neither has Molly. So far. Hopefully it stays that way. Selfish I know…

I did have three gerbils at one time and I’ll admit I loved them little things. They were an exception obviously. Well, two of them I tolerated and the other one I loved.  I’m pretty sure my favouritism of my little black gerbil was the cause of its death.

I came home from school one day and my favourite little black gerbil was lying dead at the bottom of the cage with a bloodied nose. In my head the other two gerbils had had enough of not being the favourite and pushed the black one from the top tier of the cage to teach it a lesson. I’ll never know exactly what happened, hopefully it was natural causes, but that’s how it went down in my then teenage mind.

I’m not sure I’d have the same love of gerbils if I saw one now, and I would definitely not be putting my hands anywhere near them. I also had a couple of goldfish as a child. One of them was a little bit suicidal I think. It was forever jumping out of the bowl. How I never stood on that little thing I don’t know. Unsurprisingly that one wasn’t with us for too long.

There was a dog on our street the other week and I panicked. I  tried to pretend I wasn’t bothered by it but Molly saw me freaking out a bit and looked worried. Then the dog came running up the street and without meaning to I did a loud gasp kind of noise. I’m not sure if it was me or the dog that scared Molly but she set off crying. I say crying but it was more of a terrified scream than a cry. She was shaking and jumped right into my arms. She cried for so long and her little heart was pounding. It took me ages to calm her down.

It’s been a few weeks since the dog incident but Molly still tells me the story of it. She says, “woof woof outside. I cry. It get me.”  Every time she looks panic stricken and grabs her belly. Not sure why she grabs her belly – I think maybe she had one of them heart sinking feelings or something and when she thinks about dogs she remembers how her belly felt. I’m going to go out on a limb and say the poor girl is traumatised.

Not long after the dog incident we were sat playing in the living room when a black piece of fluff got blown across the floor. I saw something move out of the corner of my eye and it made me jump.  I thought it was a spider. Without meaning to I did that loud gasp noise and Molly did her terrified cry whilst scaling my body to get into my arms. Again, it took me ages to calm her down, and her poor little heart was pounding.

There have been a few spider incidents with Molly actually. I was taking her up to bed one night when all of a sudden she started screaming and ran over to me, again jumping into my arms. I didn’t know what the hell was happening, then I saw a spider brazenly walking across the landing floor. The way Molly had jumped into my arms meant I couldn’t move so I had to shout Chris, the OH, to come and get rid of it. Needless to say it took a hell of a long time to get her settled for bed after that.

I’m not sure it is possible, but I think I am becoming more of a scaredy cat as I’m getting older. I have never been an animal fan but I am working on at least being able to tolerate being around them for Molly’s sake. As much as I want to not be bothered by ants, that is one fear I won’t be able to ignore or pretend isn’t an issue unfortunately. I would go as far as saying I have an actual phobia when it comes to them little things.

I am also becoming wary of heights and flying over recent years when they were never an issue previously. Maybe now I am older and a mother I am just aware of the fact that I am not indestructible. Even rollercoasters are an issue these days when once upon a time I was a bit of a thrill seeker – although, the film ‘Final Destination’ probably has a lot to answer for with that one. Speaking of films, I am no longer a fan of horror films anymore, when that genre was once my favourite. I’m strictly a romcom girl now.

Anyway, I have talked way too much about ants and being a scaredy cat for my liking now so I am going to leave it there – I feel like the ants are on me. I am going having a shower!

Do you think my fears are irrational and I am just a big scaredy cat who needs to grow a pair and get over it, or do you have similar fears? I’d love to hear what you think.

Sam x

Tammymum
The Pramshed

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14 Comments

  1. I don’t like animals. Hunky husband would love a dog. I can’t stand the idea!!

    I had hamsters as a kid. Then 1 of them ate the other one! Literally ate it! That was it for me.

    I’m not scared of much though. I don’t like moths. I have this absurd fear that they’ll fly into my ear in the night
    Donna recently posted…Homemade Toad in the HoleMy Profile

    1. Glad im not the only one. I was worried I might be lynched or something for saying I don’t like animals haha. Moths don’t bother me really. Or they didn’t until now – I had never thought about them going in my ear..

  2. It’s nobody’s place to say your fears are irrational. I could t understand someone being terrified of buttons until I compared it to my fear of spiders and it makes sense. We all feel what we feel. For me personally I do think it’s a reall shame to pass these fears onto our children. My fear of spiders is now extremely better after accidentally stumbling upon it during a hypnotherapy session and dealing with it. Needless to say my little boy has on occasions shouted “oh it’s Mr Skinny legs” (our name for a spider, courtesy of peppa pig). A few times I’ve automatically shouted “oh” because I didn’t know where the spider was. But I’ve quickly turned it into “oh Mr Skinny legs, I wasn’t expecting you to visit today, how lovely to see you”. I know children can sense your uneasiness too so just try your best. That’s all you can do. Fear is something for me that has held me back and made me misss out on things in life so I try my hardest to ensure my child doesn’t grow up with fear or shyness. There’s only so much we can control I believe. I’m still undecided how much these things are learnt and how much they are inbuilt.
    Cassie recently posted…The Bedtime Tag : My RoutineMy Profile

    1. I’m trying my best to not let some things bother me. I have gotten a bit better with spiders but ants are a different story. I know what you mean about the fear and shyness – I really don’t want to be the reason Molly has a fear of something or is too shy to do things. If it means I have to try to get over my fears then I will try my best because her future and wellbeing are more important to me than anything else.

  3. i get where you’re coming from in a way. I’m such a fussy eater but I dont want Ben to get my eating habits and especially as he is such a good eater so far!
    I dont eat meat on a bone, i hate fish, i dont eat most fruit as i bloat and i have too much of a sweet tooth.
    I dont want my weaknesses to become his too!! #familyfun

    1. I get where you’re coming from with the fussy eating – I’m quite a fussy eater and I try to encourage Molly not to be. Luckily she seems to take after her dad and eats anything, especially vegetables, although she is demanding sweets a lot lately when at one point she couldn’t stand the taste of sweet things.

  4. I feel like I could have wrote this! I am totally he same especially when it come to cats and dogs or any typical household pet and I have definitely passed my fear on to my little girl, despite trying my best not too! I didn’t grow up around animals either and I think that has a lot to do with it. I was even on a water slide the other day and I was scared to launch myself off – i have always LOVED waterslides, I don’t know what came over me. Like you say perhaps it’s being a mum? Or just aging I don’t know!? But I need to find my big girl pants! Thanks for joining us at #familyfun
    Tammymum recently posted…#FamilyFun…Week 18My Profile

  5. I think everyone has fears and what are irrational to others aren’t to somebody else. I’m absolutely petrified of needles and veins, I turn in to a child when faced with them which has been really difficult during pregnancy with all the blood tests and injections. I’m embarrassed by that and have my own coping strategies. I think if you’re aware of your fears and you’re trying to face them then thats the best you can do! #fortheloveofBLOG

    1. Ooh I hate needles too. I’m not too bad if I have to have an injection but taking blood is a different story. I hate blood. Makes me feel sick. About a year ago I had to have a blood transfusion and I felt sick for the entire time because of all the blood. I still feel sick now at the thought of it..

  6. Oh this is a difficult one and I really don’t have any suggestions for you at all. I think kids get very scared easily anyway so no matter how hard you hide something they’ll pick up on it. Discuss it with her as she gets older rather than try and hide it. You never know it might help… I also don’t know If that’s the right thing to do either!! Thanks for linking up to #familyfun
    Karen | TwoTinyHands recently posted…Happy Days 42 Zoo, Puddles and AwardsMy Profile

  7. I feel the same as you about cats and dogs, I don’t dislike them but I would never go to pet them or actually want one. I didn’t grow up around animals either. My husband on the flip side loves animals and would love a dog. Let’s see who wins that argument, thanks for linking up at #fortheloveofBLOG. Claire x

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