Mama Down

I’m usually a positive thinker and I am grateful for every single thing I have in my life.  From the smallest things, to the biggest of things, like my beautiful daughter.

But sometimes, it feels like no amount of positive thinking can stop the negativity from seeping in…

A couple of weeks ago I found out I have to have yet another surgery for my Endometriosis. It was completely unexpected. I mean, I know my symptoms have been gradually worsening for a few months but I wasn’t expecting surgery. At least not yet anyway.

I’ve been here before so I knew that eventually, some sort of intervention would be inevitable. But for now, surgery most definitely was not on my radar. I have a two year old. How am I supposed to recover from surgery when I have a toddler that loves nothing better than using mummy’s belly as a trampoline?

The thought of surgery was playing on my mind constantly, making me worry, when my wisdom tooth started hurting. That was the last thing I needed.

Just as I was getting over the wisdom tooth debacle, I was struck down with the lurgy.  Oh my days, I never knew a sore throat could be so painful. I mean, every time I sneezed or yawned I wanted to cry.

Cue the seeping in of the negativity and the ‘why me’ questions. Why me? I’m a good person.  Why can’t I catch a break..?? Blah blah blah..

I was in denial about being sick for a couple of days because when you have a toddler you don’t have time to be sick. Especially when said toddler has been sick too.

Then it happened. Mama down.  Urghh, I felt so ill. As us parents do, I attempted to carry on. I must clean house… work on the blog… make a birthday card for Grandad with the toddler.. I must do….

…Nothing..

My mother told me I needed to rest so I could get over the illness. Rest? What is that? Its not like I have the time to rest. And I know I’ll be off my feet for a few days after my operation so now is not a good time to be ill and resting.

The mother was right of course.  I did need to rest. Thankfully mama getting sick happened at the weekend so Chris wasn’t in work. He said he would take Molly out for the day, and then again the day after.

So there I was,in bed, feeling like a bad mother because I was resting when I should be spending time with the family. I was wallowing in self pity because I got sick and felt crappy. I needed to give my head a wobble.

Instead of feeling so negative I needed to be grateful for the fact that I have a family around me that loves and supports me. We all get ill from time to time and it is fine to take the time to recover.

So mama may be down due to illness, but mama is going to take time to rest and recover, and be back to business as usual in no time.

And anyway, the weekend is over and Chris is back at work so mama has no choice but to be back up and fighting fit.

Back to positive thinking from here on in!

Thanks for reading,

Sam x

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