Cleaning Monster

Is it just me, or does anybody else go over the top with the cleaning when you know you have visitors coming? I actually turn into a bit of a cleaning monster if I’m honest with you.

This week we had my daughters two year assessment with the Health Visitor. I spent a couple of days before she came cleaning the house, from top to bottom.  Everything had to be cleaned. Not because things were dirty, but because I didn’t want her to judge me..

Why my bedroom had to be spotless for a Health Visitor appointment I don’t know… but it did. The towels had to be stacked neatly in the cupboard.  All the clothes had to be ironed and put away. The shower tiles were scrubbed.. This was just the upstairs.

Downstairs the kitchen and toilet were scrubbed to within an inch of their lives. There wasn’t a single spec of dust to be seen anywhere. All the floors were either mopped or vacuumed. All the toys in the living room were sorted out; some were moved upstairs, some got thrown out, and the ones that made the cut and got to stay were put away neatly in their own place. I even made Chris rearrange one of the kitchen cupboards!

Talk about going over the top…

What the bloody hell is wrong with me? We have the loveliest Health Visitor who most definitely isn’t going to stop and inspect whether there are crumbs on the floor or dust on the TV unit. So why was I being so ‘stressy’ about everything being spotless?

I got to thinking; am I always like this when I am expecting company? The answer would be yes. The cleaning monster in me definitely appears.  If I know somebody is visiting I make sure the house is spotless beforehand.

But why? Nobody lives in perfectly clean houses all the time, especially when young children live in said houses. So why be bothered about giving such an impression to other people? Your visitors aren’t exactly going to think you are living in squalor because you missed a few crumbs when vacuuming are they?

I don’t become a cleaning monster when my mother or sister visit so why are they different? Why are they the lucky ones that get to witness this so called ‘squalor’ I seem to think I live in?

After thinking about it, I realised I have subconsciously invented some sort of weird grading type system that determines the extent of cleaning that takes places before a person visits:

Very Important Person
  • Health Visitor (apparently)
  • Official of some sort
  • My Dad (Not sure why)
  • Colleague

The whole of the house must be scrubbed. Everything must be cleaned and put away. Everything must sparkle. Tours of the house are encouraged to show off the sparklyness of everything.

Semi Important Person
  • Some friends
  • Extended family

The whole house must be dusted and vacuumed, with attention being focused on making the downstairs look sparkly.

Regular Visitors
  • Close friends
  • Close family

Might have a tidy round if I feel like it. Things may be wiped down with a baby wipe. These visitors should feel privileged if I dust and vacuum. 

I don’t know if you can tell because I appear to be a bit of a cleaning monster, but I actually hate cleaning. I clean my house often because I have to.  Well lets be honest, I clean it as little as I can get away with, and usually in protest with a sulk on my face. But this doesn’t explain why I get all stressy about just how clean the house is when I know people are visiting.

I’ve never been a ‘keeping up with the Jones’ type of person. I don’t care what other people have or are doing because I am happy with the hand I have been dealt. Competitivenes and jealousy are really not my thing, but I have to wonder if the over the top cleaning is my version of that in a weird way..

Does anybody else scrub the house whenever they know someone is coming or is it just me? Please tell me I’m not the only loony out there..

Thanks for reading, Sam x

Two Tiny Hands

The Pramshed

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14 Comments

  1. I used to be like this but to be honest with 2 kids under 2 theres just no time. The washings neverending as is the washing up. My house is a mess again after a clean so sometimes i just think whats the point:) #fortheloveofblog

    1. I know what you mean. I don’t know why I bother to be honest because like you said, it’s a mess again straight away haha ☺

  2. Oh yes I do this too but take major short cuts like use baby wipes to quickly dust and brush everything under the sofa. I’m always afraid of being judged too #fortheloveofblog

  3. Haha would you like to come round mine? I think it would force me into cleaning the house top to bottom. I must say you do have to be a VIP visitor to get the clean treatment in my house. Of course I try to keep it clean as best I can but let’s be honest trying to keep a tidy ship with two little ones isn’t the easiest of tasks! Anyway we have our daughters assessment this week so in theory my cleaning monster will be out too. Oh the joys. Thanks for sharing at #familyfun

  4. I wouldn’t say you are loony because of the cleaning. I am sure there are far worse people out there who insist it is spotless 24/7! I have a tidy round in the lounge when the health vistor is coming but I certainlt don’t scrub the whole house. I should probably tidy a bit more but life is too short! Thanks for linking up to #familyfun

    1. It does make me feel like a loony ha. Saying that, I feel like a loony most of the time.. 😂😂😂

  5. Bless you, this did make me smile. I’m a bit like it but less so now I’m a mum. I kinda think it’s my excuse when in reality it’s not as he’s getting older as I have ample time.
    The reality is I bet most people don’t notice. In my house I would go to all that trouble, only for the little one to throw a bowl of Cheerios around the room and the cat to do the worlds smelliest shit just as the person arrives lol

    1. Haha. I don’t know why I bother to be honest. Like you said, no one probably notices and it gets messed up again in no time. Ha. From now on, no cleaning for me! I wish! 😂😂😂

  6. Yes me. Well I used to. I used to tidy every room, the bathroom would be scrubbed, all floors vacuumed and mopped, and a general tidy every where. We now have a cleaner as I’ve gone back to work full-time, and I don’t want to be spending my evenings cleaning the bathroom. I really love having a tidy home and it was beginning to get to me with it being in a mess all the time. I love the different levels of cleaning you have for different people. Thanks so much for linking up at #fortheloveofBLOG. Claire x

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